IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
