can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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