I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
nutella sex= disaster
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
