the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
