It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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