I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
