Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
be right there i have to get my cape
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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