I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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