just come out here and I will go home with you...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
