i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
