i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
