I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
