We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
