We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
