First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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