Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize