Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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