Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
