I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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