You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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