I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
