i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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