hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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