i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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