can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
