I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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