I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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