I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
