Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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