Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
