There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
