It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
