I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
