At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
