What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
