sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
