OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize