He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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