im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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