Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
