Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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