One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
