There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
