Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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