i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
