so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
