dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
