Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
