She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
