she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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