This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize