The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
