So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize