It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize