My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
