so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
