i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
