Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
