If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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