i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize