You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
